Life

Life, Humour, Recipes. Please feel free to comment, your input is valuable and always responded to.

Monday Excuses for Calling in Sick

Posted by cotojo on April 7, 2008

“I’m too drunk to drive to work.”
“I accidentally flushed my keys down the toilet.”
“I had to help deliver a baby on my way to work.” (Employee was not in the medical profession.)
“I accidentally drove through the automatic garage door before it opened.”
“My boyfriend’s snake escaped from its cage and I’m afraid to leave the bedroom until he gets home.”
“I’m too fat to get into my work outfit.”
“God didn’t wake me.” (Employee didn’t believe in alarm clocks and thought a higher power would wake her when she was ready.)
“I cut my fingernails too short, they’re bleeding and I have to go to the doctor.”
“The ghosts in my house kept me up all night.”
“I forgot I was getting married today.”
“My cow bit me.”
“My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our garden. His foot fell in and we can’t get it out.”
“I was walking down the street watching road works being done, fell in the hole and hurt myself.”
“I was walking my dog and slipped on a toad in my driveway and hurt my back.”
“My house lock jammed, and I’m locked in.”
Click the arrow below on right to play, listen and enjoy! 
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63 Responses to “Monday Excuses for Calling in Sick”

  1. cotojo said

    Lynn – Thank you, this one has been quite popular 😆
    I have added you as ‘My so-called Life’ to blogroll.
    Take care and have a great weekend ahead.
    Colin

  2. cotojo said

    Lynn – Thank you, this one has been quite popular 😆
    I have added you as ‘My so-called Life’ to blogroll.
    Take care and have a great weekend ahead.
    Colin

  3. Lynn said

    Hello there Cotojo!

    This is really funny. (“,)

    Anyways, just put either Lynn or My so-called Life as the anchor text for my link. Thanks a lot. Already linked you up in mine. Keep up the good work!

  4. cotojo said

    Kim – Thank you my dear friend 🙂
    I will soon be over to Santa’s and BRB and getting back to my normal chaotic routine lol.
    Take care and have a great week,
    Colin

  5. cotojo said

    Jackie – Welcome back my dear friend and thank you so very much 🙂
    I’m on the mend and getting back to normal….well, what’s normal for me anyway lol
    I will pop by as soon as I can,
    Take care and have a great week,
    Love and hugs to you,
    Colin

  6. cotojo said

    Eric – OMG! You will get me into soooo much trouble putting this list on your fridge hahaha
    Take care buddy and have a great week,
    Colin

  7. cotojo said

    Pendullum – Many thanks for your visit and pleased that you liked the post 😆
    Take care and have a great week
    Colin

  8. cotojo said

    Tina – Thank you so much for your visit and comment 🙂
    Bosses tend to believe only what they want to don’t they lol.
    Take care and have a great week,
    Colin

  9. cotojo said

    RennyBA – Getting back to normal now after my enforced absence 😦
    Take care and have a great week,
    Colin

  10. cotojo said

    Diane – Thank you so much my friend 🙂
    Getting back to normal now, well i think so anyway 😆
    Take care and have a great week,
    Colin

  11. cotojo said

    Mary Ann – Thank you my dear friend 🙂
    I’m back…..ready to raise hell again hahaha
    Take care and have a great week,
    Hugs to you
    Colin

  12. cotojo said

    RennyBA – Now that’s a hard one 😆
    I blog from home so none of those excuses would work for me either hahaha.
    I think a disk crash could be pretty drastic though, and hopefully it won’t happen either.
    Take care my friend and have a great week,
    Colin

  13. cotojo said

    Max – They may not work in Portugal but hey, it’s worth a try darling 😆
    I’ll try and find the time to join the train, sounds lie another great idea.
    Take care sweetie and have a great week,
    Colin

  14. cotojo said

    Bonoriau – Many thanks for your visit and comment 🙂
    The Big Bang is still going strong and it’s great to have you aboard too.
    Have a great week,
    Colin

  15. cotojo said

    Michelle – There are some really good ones and it’s great to start the week with a laugh 🙂
    Have a great week,
    Take care my friend,
    Colin

  16. cotojo said

    Mel – The ‘Too Fat’ one is great lol, just imagine hahaha.
    I will participate in the Gratitude challenge as soon as I am up to date again 🙂
    Take care and have a great week,
    Colin

  17. cotojo said

    Maunie – Thank you my dear friend, getting back to normal…well, almost hahaha
    Take care and have a great week,
    Hugs and kisses,
    Colin

  18. cotojo said

    Milton – Thank you buddy, I will pop over asap 🙂
    Have a great week,
    Colin

  19. cotojo said

    Faizal – Many thanks for your visit and comment. The Big Bang is certainly growing and is of great benefit to many 🙂
    Take care and have a great week,
    Colin

  20. cotojo said

    Marzie – Ah so you like the ghost one too hahaha.
    I will check out the friendship meme asap and get it all up to date 🙂
    Hugs and kisses,
    Take care and have a great week,
    Colin

  21. cotojo said

    Joy – I’ll be blog hopping as soon as I can, comments and emails to catch up on but I will pop over soon 🙂
    Take care and have a great week,
    Colin

  22. cotojo said

    Kim – Some are really good, but whether bosses would believe them is another matter 😆
    Have a great week and hope your shoulder is feeling a bit better.
    Take care, hugs to you,
    Colin

  23. cotojo said

    Lisa – I don’t think the wicked witch would believe any of them hahaha.
    Hope you are keeping well my dear friend,
    Take care and God Bless,
    Colin

  24. cotojo said

    Chuck – Good to see you back albeit fleetingly lol
    Life changing issues affect all of us, hope you doing ok.
    Take care sweetie,
    Miss you and love you too.
    Colin

  25. cotojo said

    Joy – Glad you liked it my dear friend 🙂
    Have a lovely week,
    Take care,
    Colin

  26. cotojo said

    AngelBaby – It’s a good start to the week lol, and I’m sure there are many more excuses 😆
    Love, Hugs and Blessings my dear friend, take care and have a great week,
    Colin

  27. cotojo said

    Sandee – Now you’ll never run out of excuses again 😆
    Take care sweetie and have a great week,
    Big hugs
    Colin

  28. cotojo said

    Maunie – ‘My Cubicle’ lyrics written by Morning Sidekick and performed by Jym Britton, but it sure does sound like James Blunt 🙂
    Seems there are quite a few who have used these excuses too LOL
    Take care and have a great week,
    Hugs and kisses,
    Colin

  29. cotojo said

    Misty – Now just don’t get too close to the cows then huh? 😆
    Take care and have a great week,
    Colin

  30. cotojo said

    Tammy – You mean your cow bit you, the ghosts kept you up all night and the rest? OMG 😆
    Take care sweetie and have a great week,
    Colin

  31. cotojo said

    Bluedreamer – Hey buddy, the lyrics are great aren’t they 😆
    Have a great week
    Colin

  32. cotojo said

    Shoshi – Glad you enjoyed it 😆
    It’s good to start the week with a laugh.
    Take care and have a great week,
    Colin

  33. cotojo said

    Candy – Thank you for your visit and comment 🙂
    I’m sure there are quite a few more excuses not listed lol
    Have a great week,
    Colin

  34. purplefrog said

    Did you know that are missing of you over at blueribbonbloggers and over at santas community blog?the blog elf is also lisited as missing too..hopefully you comeback soon and in perfect health..take care…~kim

  35. shinade said

    Hello my dear friend,
    I have heard that you are ill. Please know that you are in my prayers. I truly hope that whatever is wrong is not too serious. Please when you are able let me know that you are okay. You can do so via email if you prefer or simply drop by site. I am back up and running.

    So many of us are very concerned.
    Much love to you,
    Jackie

  36. Colin, this will be going to be copied on my fridge! I will never be caught wondering what to use as an excuse again!! How did you come up with all of these … ROLF!

    … I forgot I was getting married today???

    Speedy

  37. Pendullum said

    Great list!

  38. Tina said

    ha ha brilliant excuses. Employees have prob heard some right tales in the past. They never believe your excuse anyway so you may as well lie. Well my boss never used to believe anyone anyway!

  39. RennyBA said

    Hey you; still sick? 😉

  40. Diane said

    Hi Colin
    You’ve been very quiet of late on both your blogs so I just wanted to check that everything was OK.
    Looking forward to your next post 🙂

    Diane

  41. Mary Ann said

    Come back, come back, wherever you’re at!
    [Enter maniacal laughter here]

  42. RennyBA said

    So what do you do if your office is your computer and you can work from anywhere? I guess the only thing you can hope for, is a disk crash then 😆

  43. LOL LOL LOL great excuses that just wouldn’t work here in Portugal anymore lol!

    How are you, love?
    Me, I am quite all right :D!

    I came to invite you to join a link train: http://maxcouti.blogspot.com/2008/04/two-tags-oceans-eleven-and-my-heroe.html

    Have a great rest of the week, darling!

    Cheers

  44. bonoriau said

    Dropping from 1000 Big Bang.Nice Blog. from http://bonoriau.com

  45. All of are great! I needed a good laugh! Thanks

  46. Mel said

    Hi Colin, I’ll need to try some of these. I especially like the “Too Fat” one.

    Consider this a personal invitation to take part in my Gratitude Challenge. It is my latest meme and even has its own site. I anticipate that this will eventually grow bigger than the Big Bang. It would be very interesting to see what you come up with. http://AreYouGrateful.Com

    Mel

  47. Colin my dear friend…are you okay? Now I’m getting concerned.

    Maunie

  48. lol how i wish i could use any of those reason haha
    hello colin how are you now?
    by the way i have an award for you
    you can check it out in the link provided in my blog hope you like it

  49. faizal said

    Hi there, just dropping by to say Hello,

    I found your blog from the Big Bang Master List.

    Have a nice day.

  50. He he, I like the ghost excuse! 😉

    Also, I’ve joined the Friendship Chain and your name is on my list. I can’t find your post though, so pls add me to your list here as well, thanks Colin! Hugs!! 🙂

    http://mariuca.blogspot.com/2008/04/sweet-surprise.html

  51. Hello…Just blog hopping by…Hope you could visit…

  52. laketrees said

    ROFL Colin !!
    actually a lot of these things could happen IRL…really truly….
    and others like the ghosts…delivering the baby and the wet cement are a bit of a stretch 🙂
    have a great start to your weekend… 🙂

  53. Sophiagurl said

    LOL! wish it can work for me. How are you my friend? missed talking to you. Have a great weekend. Huggggggs!

  54. chuck said

    I’d use these if I had a regular job 😉 Hilarious.

    I’m not really back, but thought I’d let you know I’m ok. Dealing with some life-changing issues. Hope you’re well. Miss you and love you. Bye-bye for now.

  55. Joy said

    I like the song Colin really. Have a nice day!

  56. Angelbaby said

    Colin,

    This is so funny! I laughed so hard. Thanks I needed this.

    I have something for you at my site.

    Lots of Hug, Love and many Blessings for you my dear friend,
    AngelBaby

  57. I forgot about getting married today. Oh that doesn’t sound good. Bwahahahahaha. Have a great day Colin. Big hug. 🙂

  58. …and your beautiful too…did he record both versions? Sure sounds like him…boy those excuses are more likely then some I have used over the years…hugs and kisses

  59. Misty Dawn said

    Hey, I live on a farm. So, the cow biting one really wouldn’t be unusual out here in Podunk 😉

  60. Tammy said

    OMG!!! I so totally used everyone of those excuses before!!!!

    Hugs Tammy

  61. hello there colin gheeeh i love the way they change the lyrics of the song lol
    have a great day my friend

  62. Shoshana Rose said

    Thanks for the belly laugh on this one, Colin! Happy Spring to you!

  63. ahaahha
    that was good
    man that was good! heehe
    My cow bite me! haha
    I wonder if that will wash with my boss!

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