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Is Santa Claus A Woman

Posted by cotojo on November 29, 2007

I think Santa Claus is a woman….I hate to be the one to defy a sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she.

Think about it… For starters, the vast majority of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only lingerie suitable for street walkers, cheap perfume, or any sharp object made by Ronco which slices or dices, left on the shelves. On this count alone, I’m convinced Santa is a woman.

Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a PlayStation under the tree, still in the bag.

And a male Santa would inevitably have transportation problems because he would get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Other reasons why Santa can’t possibly be a man:

Men can’t wrap presents

Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.

Men would feel their masculinity is threatened… having to be seen with all those elves.

Men don’t answer their mail. (Except email of course)

Men aren’t interested in stockings UNLESS somebody’s wearing them.

Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up babes.

Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

Santa and Rudolph


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26 Responses to “Is Santa Claus A Woman”

  1. cotojo said

    Jesse – Thank you lol, I saw the comment on cre8buzz and still guess I’ll end up on Santa’s Naughty List…..but then I’ll be in Mrs.Claus’ good books hahaha
    Have a wonderful week
    Colin

  2. cotojo said

    Kim – I see…lol, so you have to train men to wrap presents hahaha, I’m sure many female readers will love that one 🙂
    Have a great week,
    Colin

  3. cotojo said

    Jay – Thank you for stopping by and for your comment 🙂
    Have a great week,
    Colin

  4. Hi Cotojo,as I mentioned to you on cre8buzz, Santa could never be cross with you,lol..
    A really funny post !

  5. laketrees said

    haha Colin
    hilarious…..though I disagree on one point …
    men can wrap presents if they are trained properly 🙂

  6. Jay said

    LOL! hilarious!

    Jay
    DatMoney.com
    DatCurious.com

  7. cotojo said

    Jos – Thank you 🙂
    I’m sure you are right about the beard and the baggy suit lol
    have agreat weekend my friend 🙂
    Colin

  8. Jos said

    Brilliant Fun, Colin! Somehow I always suspected that the beard and the baggy suit were cover-ups. Have a great weekend! -Jos:)

  9. cotojo said

    Deborah – I definitely have concerns about making Santa’s list 🙂
    I think I may well be in the deep end now hahaha
    Sue’s comments were brilliant lol, and it also adds a little banter to it 🙂
    Have a wonderful weekend,
    Colin

  10. cotojo said

    Chris – You could be right LOL, careful though as Santa is still compiling his Naughty or Nice List hahaha
    Have a great weekend,
    Colin

  11. cotojo said

    Ann – Glad you liked it 🙂
    It will get me into trouble with Santa though hahaha.

    Wow, thank you so much for the Brad the Blogbee Award too…that is awesome 🙂
    Have a wonderful weekend,
    Colin

  12. Chris said

    Hmm, something to think about indeed. But then again, maybe Mrs Claus is the brains behind the curtain, like in the Wizzard of Oz.

  13. You know you just might be right. I’ve never thought about that.

    Too funny~

    BTW I’ve awarded you with the Brad The Blogbee award. Congrats!

    Have a nice week-end.

    Ann

  14. Deborah said

    Well I’m not sure which gave me more of a laugh Colin, you and Sue or the list, haha!

    But you may have a concern for making Santa’s list after this one 😉

  15. cotojo said

    Lisa – Oh well……that’s me off Santa’s List 🙂
    Whatever will poor Mrs.Claus make of it all lol
    Have a wonderful weekend my friend,
    Colin

  16. cotojo said

    Maunie – I guess I’m just as twisted as you hahaha….and yes it’s also one of the perks!

    Hope you are feeling a bit better 🙂
    Take care and rest your hand,
    Colin

  17. Sophiagurl said

    Uh-oh hahaha, I think I know who won’t get anything for Christmas this year. LOL! Better make it up with Santa right now. I guess Mrs Claus is responsible for the logistics of it all hahaha.

  18. this is the best…of course…they are women…you did such a good job of explaining..why Colin…your almost as twisted as me..or maybe it’s the perks…thank goodness for you…you make me laugh every day

  19. cotojo said

    Rosli – Thank you for your visit and comment 🙂
    You have a great holiday season too.
    Colin

  20. cotojo said

    Sue – LOL, maybe Santa will get Rudolph kitted out with some all weather gear along with helmet, goggles and nose protector hahaha…..should look quite a sight whizzing around the globe….maybe that’s why Rudolph’s nose is red….burning up on re-entry hahaha

    Have a great evening
    Colin

  21. Rosli said

    ha ha ha…this is good. keep posting. anyway, have a great holiday season.

  22. Sueblimely said

    I think Rudolph needs some better powder for that shiny nose of hers. She had better use some moisturized make up too – flying round the world in one day and in all weather conditions is dreadful for the skin.

  23. cotojo said

    Sue – Rudolph a female…wow wait til Santa finds out, and then wait til he finds out that Mrs.Claus is a male hahahaha
    Have a wonderful day 🙂
    Colin

  24. Sueblimely said

    Santa does have Mrs Claus to help him and maybe the reindeer are female? You have me with the red velvet though so I agree Santa is female and Mrs Claus is either male or Santa’s sister in law.

  25. cotojo said

    Sandee – See…I’m not sexist hahahaha

    That’s me in Santa’s naughty book again I think LOL
    Have a great day
    Colin

  26. Bwahahahah. Now that’s a hoot. I love it. Have a great day Colin. 🙂

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