Life

Life, Humour, Recipes. Please feel free to comment, your input is valuable and always responded to.

NEW EMAIL VIRUS ALERT!

Posted by cotojo on September 16, 2007

If you receive an email entitled “Badtimes”, delete it IMMEDIATELY.  

Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards.

It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD’s you attempt to play.  

It will program your phone auto-dial to call only 900 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.  

It will drink ALL your beer.  

FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? 

It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.  

It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.

It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.  

If the “Badtimes” message is opened in a Windows 95/98/2000/ME/XP/Vista environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk!  

******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ******* 

And if you don’t send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds you’ll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send to everyone …..  

IN CASE YOU ARE BLOND…THIS IS A JOKE!

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14 Responses to “NEW EMAIL VIRUS ALERT!”

  1. cotojo said

    Kim – Well at least you got that far 🙂

    What can I say hahaha

    Colin

  2. laketrees said

    yeah Colin I got to the flushing toilet durrrr….
    very very funny 😀

  3. cotojo said

    Deborah – Well at least it had you up til the ATM 🙂

    Got to have some fun lol

    Colin

  4. Deborah said

    Too funny Colin! You had me up to the ATM cards, haha!

  5. cotojo said

    Christina – Thanks for dropping by 🙂

    I have a bit of catching up to do but going to be short on time again this week lol.

    Colin

  6. HELLO HELLO!~

  7. cotojo said

    Diane – Thanks for dropping by 🙂

    Most viruses are targeted at Windows users, it’s a soft target really which is why I put this here as a bit of fun.

    I think if I put it on my other blog it might just cause a bit of mayhem……something to think about hahaha 🙂

    Colin

  8. Diane said

    Very good indeed! As a Mac user I started to read feeling very smug and then realised that we could all relax about this one!

  9. cotojo said

    Lisa – yes I liked that one, maybe you should send it to tiger lady 🙂

    Might upset her for week though, but that shouldn’t be too difficult 😦

    Take care, God Bless

    Colin

  10. cotojo said

    Morgan – Just as well I didn’t post this on my PC Security blog 🙂

    Mind you I did think about it hahaha.

    *Hugs*

    Colin

  11. Sophiagurl said

    LOL, that was hilarious Colin! I’d hate to get that virus in my e-mail, LOL! My boss sends it to me all too often and I’ve learned my lesson believe me, hahaha!

    Maybe it’s high time I sent it back to the tiger lady, LOL.

    P.S. Don’t know why but I can’t seem to access your blog properly for the last two days, don’t know what’s wrong.

  12. morgan said

    As I was first reading this I was like WOW…and then I read further….very creative and funny Colin

  13. cotojo said

    Dave – Thanks for passing by and for your comment 🙂

    I’m sure there are a few that will read the first few sentences and believe it lol.

    Re: serious note – Check my Free PC Security blog. There are many virii that can tweak your PC settings and cause some serious damage.

    Colin

  14. davelucas said

    Hahaaaaaa- funny! What’s really a hoot is that some bloggers have just read the first few sentences and think it’s real!
    On a serious note, has there ever been a virus that could tweak computer settings and possibly overclock, overheat or otherwise kill the vital organs of Mr. PC?

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