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Guys’ Rules

Posted by cotojo on July 18, 2007

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys’ side of the story. (I must admit, it’s pretty good.) We always hear “the rules” From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1 Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be..

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine…Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can – to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can – to give them a bigger laugh


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4 Responses to “Guys’ Rules”

  1. cotojo said

    Hawk – No the response was quite low, but then it was also a fairly new blog at the time being only some 5 or 6 weeks old 🙂

    Of course you can repost it at your nest, and thank you for the del.icio.us tag 🙂

    Hopefully you will get a greater response than I had originally.

    Have a great day my friend 🙂
    Colin

  2. Hawk said

    Well, I can see that you didn’t get too much of a response from the women folk on this one. One thing I have certainly learnt in my life, when one speaks the truth to another, the another is usually afflicted with the “cat got the tongue” syndrome. However, in this case, it would be “the cat got the fingers!” LOL!

    Great Post. I fell out of the chair laughing. If you don’t mind, I just may re-post this at the nest. Of course, with your permission. I have already tagged it in my del.icio.us!

    Later,

  3. cotojo said

    Thanks Lisa lol – I’ll do one for the ladies later hahaha

  4. Sophiagurl said

    LOL, a good one =) and of course everything said here is a matter of opinion. haha.

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